Yesterday, while getting ready for a shower, one of my daughters asked me “Why did you and dad split up?” I was taken aback some since it’s been close to 3 years since we’ve split. I asked her to repeat the question and was of course asked the same… “Why did you and dad split up?”
I had a few choices. I could play the victim, I could play the pissed off and bitter parent, I could change the subject or I could face it head on. I chose to face it. Before you get judgmental on me and think that I haven’t yet talked to my children about this period in my life, let me assure you, it’s been talked about. Now that my daughter is a little bit older and more understanding, I’m assuming she just wants to process this for herself which is perfectly healthy and okay with me. While my mind raced a mile a minute, the words gingerly came out of my mouth, “Your dad just…he just decided that he wanted to go out and see the world…and see what else there was out there.” She then asked if we’d been fighting a lot or arguing during that time. I told her “No, we weren’t fighting, sometimes things like this just happen.” She pressed on, “And you were okay with that?” to which I replied, “No, I wasn’t okay with it, but I wasn’t going to make him stay somewhere that he didn’t want to be…”
That was the extent of our conversation about splitting up with her father. She knows that I care for him and wish him well, but she has also been able to see that life moved on when things didn’t go my way.
Sometimes my kids surprise me with the questions and topics they bring up, who knows what will be next. :]