You know the type I’m talking about? The types when you want to shut the world out, sit in the kitchen alone drinking coffee, write a letter without interruption, and be uncharacteristically quiet. This weekend was full of family socializing and fun but for some reason today has been a struggle. My Biodad has to have heart surgery next month and I can safely say that I’m nervous about that. I’m tired of going out of my way to be nice to people and receiving nothing in return. I’m tired of making excuses for people’s actions, but being forced to because I simply must an answer. I’m just sick of it all. However, through all of this, I’m learning what and who to appreciate more and how to deal with the crap that I don’t like, better.
I both love and hate these introspective days. At least I can count on my tea and a movie for some comfort, because apparently my head isn’t helping any.