The Tooth Fairy Is A Generous Asshole…

Austin accidentally punched Kalayah in the mouth when he fell off the bed yesterday while watching tv.  She came running to the kitchen holding her hand under her mouth, looking like she’d just feasted on someones throat.  We pulled the tooth out that was really loose and the other one was wiggly but not quite ready to come out.  After we got back from town, (I took her to her doctors appt., sinus infection and we’re trying out nasal spray for allergies…oy!)  my BFF Jason and I took turns with the remaining tooth and in the end, I had the winning tug.  She was super happy to have it out!

Now, let me just say that when you’re young and thinking about having kids, you don’t think of all the little things you’re going to have to do once they are older.  You don’t think about playing Tooth Fairy and how you’re going to have to: #1, Remember to play the part of the Tooth Fairy, #2, Have enough change/$1 bills, #3, Have sweet skills.

I decided last night that I was going to drink wine with my BFF and watch movies.  Which we did, but in turn I FORGOT that I had to play the role of  TOOTH FAIRY EXTRAORDINAIRE!  Plus the wine might have made me a little goofy and sleepy.  Then comes morning…

Kalayah: “Mom, the Tooth Fairy didn’t come last night!”

Me: “What?  I wonder why!” *sideways “Oh shit!” glance towards Shea who was making toast, completely ignoring me*

Shea: “Well it’s probably because you put your teeth under your piiiiink pillow, but you slept on the white one!  I remember I did that once and she didn’t come then either.”

Kalayah:  “Oh geeze, I didn’t know you couldn’t do that!”

Me: “Hahaha, you silly goose Kalayah!”

Kalayah: *hehehrrrrrrrrr”

My 9 year old daughter totally saved my ass…

The funny part is, I think the jury is still out on whether or not she believes in the whole Tooth Fairy ordeal.

Thanks Shea, *Booyah!*

This evening I put a reminder on my phone’s calendar to remind me at 11pm to Play Tooth Fairy…which would have worked great, had I not somehow put it for the 2nd.  I’m such an idiot sometimes I swear.

I remembered about 12:15 to get off my ass, so I grabbed a $5 bill out of my wallet and snuck up the stairs.  I turned the bathroom light on to give myself a glimmer of light as I carefully avoided stepping on random Barbie shoes, toys that contain batteries, and anything that crumples, wrinkles or makes noise of any sort when you step on it.  I was just beside Kalayah’s bed when she suddenly flung the blanket off of herself, rolled over towards me and started to fall back asleep.  I was frozen in mid motion.  What would she think if she opened her eyes and saw me standing there all ninja-like, hovering over the top of her as if I were going to attack.  The thought of it made me laugh….but I couldn’t laugh because, Ninja+Tooth Fairy=A Really Bad Outcome.  I crept further into the corner where I just stood and breathed a sigh of relief…about to begin searching for the sandwich sized Ziploc with 2 little teefers inside.  I approached the pillow from the headboard….thankfully there are spindles and it’s not a solid headboard!  I slid my hand in and slowly felt around and then I moved down towards the other side.  Nothing.  I squint and see that there is, yet again, 2 pillows.  Just as I made contact with Mr. Ziploc, Kalayah rambled off some gibberish mumbojumbo and my eyes got huge and I hurried and made the switch with the $5 and then Shea rolled over in her bed, also facing me.

I was sure I was doomed.  That they were both going to wake up and be scared shitless as to why I was lurking around in their room in the middle of the night….standing awkwardly in the corner, clutching a baggy with teeth inside.

I got the hell out of there and laughed about it once I got back downstairs.  I guess that’s what the Tooth Fairy gets for thinking she could drink a couple of glasses of wine and watch a movie!

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