We went to Tillamook, Oregon this weekend as a birthday present for my oldest who is turning 9 tomorrow. I was excited to take the kids on the tour of the factory but they were unfortunately not running production this weekend. At least the place was open and the kids got to see the equipment and all the different kinds of cheeses they make there. They loved all the free samples and since we hadn’t eaten lunch we had to go back for ice cream later in the day. Score!
We went to the store and I bought some snacks, pop, shampoo/conditioner, beer…and we went back to the hotel where the kids were practically foaming at the mouth to go swimming. MUST. SWIM. NOW!!!!! After stepping into the sauna like pool room, Birthday Girl was headed to the deep end, The Follower was…………following, I had to tell her that she’s not big enough to attempt that end of the pool yet and called her back to the shallow end. My Little Dude headed for the steps and walked in, stood there for a second next to The Follower and then took a flyin’ leap into the pool!!! I was like OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD! Get your brother! Get him! Ahhhhh! She struggled to reach him as he’s bobbing around and bouncing up and down off the bottom of the pool. He was just out of my reach and I was about to jump in when she finally grabbed his arm while screaming for her sister to come save the day. I was about 2 milliseconds from a god damn heart attack! Needless to say he was confined to the steps, but it didn’t seem to bother him at all. You’d think that in a family friendly hotel that the pool would start shallower than 3 feet, but what the hell do I know. Apparently not much.
Dude’s only 4 and he’s used to being able to swim with a vest on, and well…we didn’t have that luxury with us. I tell you I was so scared, I’m pretty sure I died a little.
So between the kids fighting in the car for the last 3 hours, production not running at the factory and then my youngest trying to off himself in the Shilo Inn, I was a WEE bit stressed. I gave the kids about 10 more minutes in the pool and then it was time to head up to the room so mommy could have a drink relax. Ahem.
Don’t judge me.
We got back to the room and swimsuits were peeled off, wet towels were heaped in corners and my beer…won’t. twist. open… I look at the bottle carefully and notice the words “Use Opener.” Like what the fuck Scoob, they’ve always been twist tops…so now I’m pissed and I’m clearly not thinking. I fired off a text or two bitchin’ about it to my BFF Jason and he was like “Just put the edge of the cap against the counter and hit the top of the bottle with your hand” so duh…it totally opened. I was in such a panic that I wasn’t gonna get my precious beer! So I drank 2 of those and then had a strawberry daiquiri with dinner, then had another beer when we got back. Ahh the life of being on a mini vacation with 3 kids under 10, er 9 I suppose I could say.
All in all we had a good time, we saw lots of neat places and bought a few cool things along the way, including way too much damn pepperoni and beef nuggets. Ugh, I just might ‘splode tonight.
The moral of the story is that next time, even if I’m traveling with someone, I need me some backup! Who wants a girlfriend that has 3 kids and lives with her parents? Any takers? Sweet…I totally saw a few hands go up!